


Days Until Death

by kosmaid



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Crossdressing, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Haircuts, Holding Hands, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote This While Listening to Hozier's Music, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealousy, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, M/M, Mental Instability, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Platonic Cuddling, Revised Version, Sick Komaeda Nagito, Sleepy Kisses, Suffering Komaeda Nagito, Suicidal Thoughts, confused feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22128394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kosmaid/pseuds/kosmaid
Summary: "Free," he pondered, "what a pitiful thought for someone dying."Komaeda is dying and wants to do 12 little things before he does.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Oma Kokichi/Komaeda Nagito, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 146





	1. Dreadful Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> bruh explanation 😞

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda goes to school, meets new people, and wants to die.

The dark room always seemed to leave Nagito Komaeda with a bitter feeling. The coldness of the empty house, seeming to reflect on the mishaps of his luck. Merely remembering the happy memories, they seemed to be going away as he got older.

However, recalling such moments filled with despair, had no place in his mind. Today was supposed to be a happy occasion, the first day back at Hope's Peak Academy.

Seeing the first years come in, such hopeful, yet naive, teenagers come to a place where they'd have a chance to become such shining rays of hope.

' _Ah_ ,' he was getting carried away again, surely no one would be excited to see him, and he couldn't blame them either. His own class and teacher practically _screamed_ in relief once he bid them all goodbye. 

Komaeda tries to hide the sorrow in his heart, at not being wanted, at not having friends, _at not being loved_. He supposed a hot shower would make him feel better.

* * *

Leaving his house, well, it would be modest to call it a house, leaving his mansion, he starts his walk to Hope's Peak. He could get there faster by taking a bus, but… "better safe than sorry," he mumbled to himself.

Starting his walk to Hope's Peak, he wondered if his parents would be proud of their son, or maybe they would be thankful that he left home for a few months. Komaeda liked to pretend that they would be proud, but sometimes it wasn't enough. Hell, his own mother has never even complemented him.

Komaeda walked the rest of the way to Hope's Peak, thinking of nothing but how going here would bring him and others so much hope. He thought of this, the words and phrases repeating themselves in his head over and over again like a mantra, until he was at the gates of Hope's Peak Main Course building. 

There were few students there, all milling around with their luggage in tow. From the corner of his eye, Komaeda noticed the Ultimate Moral Compass talking to four first years.

A tall boy with dark purple hair, a timid boy with blueish-black hair, and two girls, one with long raven hair styled in two pigtails, adorning a scowl, and a bubbly blonde haired girl, who was holding onto the timid boys shoulder.

It was then when he realized he had to pass the five in order to get into the building, and he didn't particularly feel like speaking to anyone at the moment. ' _Please don't notice me_ ,' he pleaded in his mind, as he tried to walk around them without being detected.

"Hey! You there," the Ultimate Moral Compass called, he hoped he wasn't talking to him. "The boy with white hair! Please come over here," although he said please, it sounded more like a demand…

Komaeda slowly walked over to where the five were waiting, and staring at him uncomfortably. Upon closer inspection, he noticed how the timid one didn't make eye contact, and the girl with pigtails looked ready to beat him to the ground.

"Everyone, this is our upperclassmen, the Super High School Level Lucky Student," He beamed at Komaeda, almost yelling in his ear. "I'm afraid we didn't get to interact last school year, so I don't have your name," He said, almost embarrassed of himself. 

"I'm Nagito Komaeda." Komaeda mumbled shyly, that girl was seriously intimidating… "It's nice to formally meet you, I am Kiyotaka Ishimaru, the Ultimate Moral Compass!" He then bowed at Komaeda, which completely startled him.

"I've called you over here to settle a dispute," Kiyotaka said, "This young man here, has refused to believe that the dorms are in the west wing of the area, and won't go even though he's a freshmen!" Kiyotaka was definitely agitated.

Komaeda, not knowing what to say, just nodded agreeing with what he was saying. "Hey, were you about to go to the dorms anyway?" the tall boy asked. Komaeda nodded at him, a friendly smile coming onto his face.

"Great! You can show us there, then." tall boy said, nodding at him. "Well then, I'm Kaito Momota, and this is Shuichi Saihara," he said, pointing to the timid boy, who still didn't look up. "And this is Maki Harukawa, and Kaede Akamatsu," Kaito finished, pointing out each girl.

The girl, Kaede Akamatsu, beamed at him, then grabbed his hand and shook it, which made him gasp, startled at the sudden gesture. "H-Hey, you shouldn't touch the likes of someone like me," Komaeda protested, pulling his hand back as fast as she grabbed it.

"The likes of you?" She questioned, "Someone under such a low caliber, a waste of an ultimate, someone so… underclass, ultimately trash," Komaeda said, his eyes glazing over.

"You shouldn't talk about yourself that way!" Kaede argued, but he had seen it already. The way her face scrunched up, and she unintentionally stepped back away from him, and gripped Saihara's shoulder tightly, she was freaked out. _'What a beautiful shining ray of hope..'_ Komaeda couldn't help the shudder that overtook him.

Noticing their sudden wary gaze made him snap out of it. _'Ah, they were going to be warned anyway I suppose,'_ Komaeda turned and started to walk towards the entrance where the dorms were, before noticing that they were all still standing there and staring at him.

"Aren’t you coming?" Komaeda called over his shoulder, eventually, he heard their footsteps near him as he made his way into the building, the four first years in tow. 

Upon entering the building, the three of them gasped in awe, par from Maki, but she did seem impressed. "This is bigger than," Kaito stopped and scrunched his face up, as if he was trying to figure out what to say, "well, I don't know what it's bigger than, but woah!" He exclaimed.

This caused Shuichi and Kaede to lightly chuckle, while Maki rolled her eyes, but Komaeda could tell their was a fondness there, one that everyone else seemed to overlook.

Komaeda couldn't help feel a little envious of the group, to go into a school and already have friends, they were so lucky... Komaeda couldn't help feel a little out of place, and a little awkward as well.

As if feeling this Kaede walked a bit faster to match his own steps. "So, what have you thought of Hope's Peak since you've started school here?" It was clear she wanted some type of advice, but maybe it was the best if she went to someone else.

"Well, Hope's Peak has always been a wonderful place, it's practically filled to the brim with so much hope!" Komaeda had to stop himself from hugging his own body. "Everyone I've met has loved Hope's Peak, as well as myself, so, I'm sure you're going to love it too!" Komaeda finished giving her a bright smile.

Kaede's face turned a light shade of pink, which made him wonder why. She then grabbed onto his arm, which made Komaeda jump, but let her hold on, and talked idly about the upcoming school year. He listened to her babble until they reached the first year dorms.

"Well, this is where you're all going to be staying, you can find your dorm pretty easily, there are name plates on the doors, and you get your own room that you can make to fit your ultimate talent," Komaeda said as he stopped walking. "Each ultimate has their very own ultimate lab, which your teachers should go over on the first day of class, it's a place where you can work on your talent," He said with a smile. 

"If you ever need help, you can come to me! But there are also guides and certain guide rooms where you can find help, so I'm sure there won't be a need to talk to trash like myself ever again!" Komaeda finished, giving another bright smile, which made them look at each other.

"Thank you so much, Komaeda!" Kaede said, coming up to him and practically _beams_ up at him. Komaeda smiled before waving and heading off towards the third year dorm rooms.

"I don't trust him, he's off to me," He heard Maki say, her tone cold. The smile that was on his face, dropped slightly as soon as he heard those words. _'There it is, I'm surprised it took them that long.'_

Making his way to his room, he thankfully didn't run into his classmates or other third year ultimate's. Opening the door, and dropping his stuff in the middle of the room, he fell onto his bed and covered his face with his hands.

He huffed out a laugh before turning to his side and looking into a mirror, his reflection staring up at himself.

"Disgusting," Komaeda said, albeit quietly. Moving the mirror so he wouldn't have to see himself was going to be hard.. He lacked the physical strength needed. ' _Needed for what? A mirror? How pathetic..'_

Turning off his light, he allowed his mind to drift as he stared into the darkness, thoughts surrounding and basically swallowing him whole. 

Maybe it was his time to go, to _finally_ _be set free_. "Free," he pondered, "what a pitiful thought for someone dying." After all, there was no free for him. There was destruction and chaos, it paved his future. No, he would never be free, he would burn for his sins. That's what happens when you're the devils plaything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "anyways have a good day today, and chapter three (because chapter one was an explanation) will be out tomorrow or a slight chance today, it takes a while for me to write so possibly tomorrow, but hey, at least it's not like i'm making you all wait months again for another chapter," remember when i said this? yeah me too. sorry i lied but i revised this chapter so hehe


	2. Voltaic Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for suicidal innuendos, poems & thoughts, cw for slight manipulation tatics (both from komaeda)
> 
> komaeda talks to himself.

> "Blue lips and blue veins,
> 
> soon I will be cold again,
> 
> will you bury me in a new 
> 
> white dress fair,
> 
> when you bury me
> 
> will you care,
> 
> peace and quiet 
> 
> in graves
> 
> so deep,
> 
> this life is mine to take
> 
> or keep."
> 
> \- r.i.d

The human life is something that is easily taken away. Just as quick as it's there, it can be gone. To be taken without second thought, be someone else's hands, or your own. The power of death is something that hangs over everyone's head. The silk threads delicate and fragile as Atropos cuts it with a grim smile. 

Death was something that has been with Nagito Komaeda ever since he was little. It was something he had _longed_ for, something that was soon to come, no one could escape the hands of the fates, even him and his luck, maybe Atropos will take pity on the _lowly_ _vermin scum_ that's Nagito Komaeda.

It definitely couldn't have come sooner as he got up and ready for school. _'Hey I know you're there.. Now's your chance, just so I don't have to go to school..'_ Komaeda sighed, of course it wouldn't happen now.

_'What terrible luck,'_ he thought with a sigh. Of course Lady Luck wouldn't grace him with his sweet release. _'Patience is key I suppose,'_ Komaeda felt a laugh bubble up, he held it down.

Why couldn't this day end any faster? _'It could end faster if you kill yourself now?'_ Ah, his inner monologue knew him all to well. 

"No, no, that wouldn't work remember? We've tried already. I suppose our luck stops it every time, hmm?" Komaeda rubs the hand on his face slowly, a puzzled look taking place. 

"Well maybe-" there's an abrupt knock at his door, it cuts him off mid sentence and he tenses before relaxing. Making his way to the door, he adjusts his brown main course uniform and puts a relaxed smile on his face.

"Hello Komaeda-San!" it's Akamatsu-San. _'Didn't see that did you? What a surprise..'_ Komaeda's smile grew. "Hello Akamatsu-San, how may I help you?" Komaeda opened his door a little more.

"I was just wondering if you would like to walk together today? But.." She stopped and hesitated, picking up her hair and twirling it a little. "Yes? You can tell me," He grew tense.

"It's just.. I thought I heard you talking to someone, but there's no one in your room," She suddenly looked down, blushing, and seemingly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, maybe I'm intruding-" Komaeda cut her off quickly.

"Actually, I hit my head and started mumbling," Komaeda laughed, airy and carefree, ' _and fake,'_ Akamatsu joined in, giggling behind her hand.

"Anyways, Komaeda-San, I was actually wondering if would would like to, um, walk with me to breakfast this morning?" She looked up to him with hope filled eyes, it would feel like a crime _not too._

"I would be delighted to, Akamatsu-San!" Komaeda beamed back at her, his once tense muscles relaxing. _'You sure? You'll surely end up ruining her day,'_ Komaeda waved the thought away.

The happy smile on the first years face was kind of worth it. 

* * *

If you've seen any movies about high school lunches, you think you'd know what to expect when you walk in. You may think you would see cliques, or maybe singing and dancing. It's definitely not the second one.

Walking into the Hope's Peak Lunch Hall, you do seem some _sort_ of cliques happening. Not based on your interests, but based on complete popularity. Which is why when he and Akamatsu-San walked into the lunch hall they saw something very.. _unique_. 

The boy Kaede was with yesterday, _Kaito-San..?_ Was yelling very loudly, and chasing a much shorter male with wild purple hair, almost like an octopus. The boy had a large grin on his face, and was holding a phone outstretched from his body.

"Goddammit Ouma," Kaito-San yelled, very loudly. "Give me my phone back!" He continued to run after the smaller boy, which just made his grin grow.

Komaeda was grabbed very lightly by Akamatsu-San as they moved along the wall, trying to find a table and avoid being hit by _something._

That plan didn't work.

As Komaeda and Akamatsu moved to sit at the table where Shuichi and Maki sat, the short boy made a beeline straight towards them. _Straight into Komaeda._

It was not his lucky day, as he fell to the ground, and hit his head on the floor with a sickening crack. With his vision slightly blackening, Komaeda faintly heard a gasp, probably from Akamatsu-San, and light laughter coming from the rest of the students.

"Komaeda-Kun!" Kaede was crouching near him while his vision slowly returned. Grasping him by the shoulders, she tugged him up as his breathing balanced out. 

"Thank you.." he said while stabilizing himself, the change in honorifics not going unnoticed, but also not really mattering to him. Komaeda looked up where the short boy, Ouma, was brushing himself off.

Komaeda pushed himself to his feet and grabbed Kaede's hand and pulled her up as well. Kaede gripped his hand and stared at him before looking over at Ouma with a look of revelation.

"Man.." Ouma started off slowly, "you should really watch where you are," Ouma looked up and met his eyes, which were now slightly wide. _'What..'_

"Of course!" Komaeda said, a light smile on his face now. "My apology's.." Komaeda grasped his hands together, trying to ignore the little throbbing pains.

"Hmm.." Ouma let out a hum as he looked at Komaeda, studying him with his eyes, very closely. Ouma turned and headed off towards the doors, waving it off without a second thought. 

"What an asshole." Kaito-San said, glaring and crossing his arms. "Are you alright, man?" He asked, turning towards Komaeda. 

Komaeda laughed and waved it off. "I'm fine.. Really, thank you, Kaito-San!" Kaito rolled his eyes, but puffed his chest a little at the praise from an upperclassmen. 

"Komaeda-Kun.. You should go back and lay down, you hit your head pretty hard.." Kaede said, moving to rub the back of his head before catching herself. This greatly confused him, and only made him feel slightly weird because of the contact she always seems to want to give him.

"I suppose you're right, Akamatsu-San!" He let out a slight laugh and turned to walk away, waving at the four first years as he went. The hallway was only slightly quiet as he moved his way to the dorms.

 _'Maybe I should call Matsuda-Kun..'_ Komaeda thought as he closed his door. ' _No, I won't bother poor Matsuda-Kun,'_ although his company was very nice to be in, Matsuda has class. 

Letting out a sigh, Komaeda let his eyes drift shut. A promise of waking up in two hours when class starts in the back of his mind. 

Sleep felt so nice, if only it would be eternal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter happened in a very rushed manor, I was trying to introduce some characters quickly as it's only 15 chapters and 2 have already been used. Sorry for the wait though! and the sloppy writing, i just wasn't feeling this,, 
> 
> Atropos: "Atropos was the oldest of the Three Fates, and was known as "the Inflexible One." It was Atropos who chose the mechanism of death and ended the life of mortals by cutting their threads."
> 
> San: "This is probably the first honorific you’ll learn how to use. You can use it with anyone you don’t really know, regardless of their gender, age or social status. It’s a neutral term, which most closely resembles “Sir/Madam” and is used the most commonly. This suffix could also be added to company or business names, like a pastry shop (パン屋さん, pan-ya-san)."
> 
> Kun: This is a suffix seen as masculine, used for teenagers and young men. Sometimes, it is used to refer to young women, but only in very specific situations. It’s usually used by people seen as superior, since this honorific is mostly used when one person of higher status is talking to a younger person. Its politeness level is low and its kanji is the same as the one used for kimi (君), which is an informal way of saying “you”. It can be used when talking with a classmate, a younger brother or younger man. Men only use it with women they are close to and likewise, women will use it with men.


End file.
